Regimen for Smelly Shoes

Smelly shoes are just the worst. It seems that your feet are producing a lot of sweat. You tried to solve the problem by cleaning and disinfecting your feet but the smell seems to linger still. Why is that?

Doctors said that do not blame your sweat glands. Closed shoes are to blame. They will make your sweat glands work even harder. Rather, just use open shoes. Somehow, in reality, foot sweat is actually odorless. However, when the perspiration combines with bacteria and decomposes – most of all in warm, humid, dim environment like your boots or closed shoes – foot fungus sprout and produce bad smells.

The best solution is to kill the germs and not your feet. To wipe out those germs, use disinfectants, like Lysol, to spray the inside of your shoes. Another way is to pour amount of rubbing alcohol on a tissue and leave overnight inside the shoes. Another ridiculous idea is to fill knee-high nylon stockings with cat waste or litter. Secure a knot on top and insert it in the shoes for a day. This should be your last resort.

As much as possible change shoes in different seasons. Winter shoes suffer a lot. Do not wear the same shoes every day. Let it dry first under the sun after a sweaty exercise or possible wash it right away. Airing out those shoes after gym workout and wear them again when you feel it is not wet anymore. If possible just wear an open sandal afterwards.

20 Unique Facts About Death

-The practice of burying the dead may date back 350,000 years, as evidenced by a 45-foot-deep pit in Atapuerca, Spain, filled with the fossils of 27 hominids of the species Homo heidelbergensis, a possible ancestor of Neanderthals and modern humans

-Never say die: There are at least 200 euphemisms for death, including "to be in Abraham's bosom," "just add maggots," and "sleep with the Tribbles" (a Star Trek favorite).

-No American has died of old age since 1951.

-That was the year the government eliminated that classification on death certificates.

-The trigger of death, in all cases, is lack of oxygen. Its decline may prompt muscle spasms, or the "agonal phase," from the Greek word agon, or contest.

-Within three days of death, the enzymes that once digested your dinner begin to eat you. Ruptured cells become food for living bacteria in the gut, which release enough noxious gas to bloat the body and force the eyes to bulge outward.

-So much for recycling: Burials in America deposit 827,060 gallons of embalming fluid—formaldehyde, methanol, and ethanol—into the soil each year. Cremation pumps dioxins, hydrochloric acid, sulfur dioxide, and carbon dioxide into the air.

-Alternatively . . . A Swedish company, Promessa, will freeze-dry your body in liquid nitrogen, pulverize it with high-frequency vibrations, and seal the resulting powder in a cornstarch coffin. They claim this "ecological burial" will decompose in 6 to 12 months.

-Zoroastrians in India leave out the bodies of the dead to be consumed by vultures.

-The vultures are now dying off after eating cattle carcasses dosed with diclofenac, an anti-inflammatory used to relieve fever in livestock.

-Queen Victoria insisted on being buried with the bathrobe of her long-dead husband, Prince Albert, and a plaster cast of his hand.

-If this doesn't work, we're trying in vitro! In Madagascar, families dig up the bones of dead relatives and parade them around the village in a ceremony called famadihana. The remains are then wrapped in a new shroud and reburied. The old shroud is given to a newly married, childless couple to cover the connubial bed.

-During a railway expansion in Egypt in the 19th century, construction companies unearthed so many mummies that they used them as fuel for locomotives.

-Well, yeah, there's a slight chance this could backfire: English philosopher Francis Bacon, a founder of the scientific method, died in 1626 of pneumonia after stuffing a chicken with snow to see if cold would preserve it.

-For organs to form during embryonic development, some cells must commit suicide. Without such programmed cell death, we would all be born with webbed feet, like ducks.

-Waiting to exhale: In 1907 a Massachusetts doctor conducted an experiment with a specially designed deathbed and reported that the human body lost 21 grams upon dying. This has been widely held as fact ever since. It's not.

-Buried alive: In 19th-century Europe there was so much anecdotal evidence that living people were mistakenly declared dead that cadavers were laid out in "hospitals for the dead" while attendants awaited signs of putrefaction.

-Eighty percent of people in the United States die in a hospital.

-If you can't make it here . . . More people commit suicide in New York City than are murdered.

-It is estimated that 100 billion people have died since humans began.

Irish Moss

Quick fill for walkways. Low-growing Irish Moss is ideal for filling in crevices between bricks or stepping-stones. Tiny leaves form dainty, densely matted, mosslike clumps, 10 cm high, that spread quickly, take foot traffic and seldom need clipping. Best of all, it stays green all year long, accented with delicate white flowers blooming from mid spring to early summer. Space 25-30 cm apart.
Sagina subulata

CompostThermometer

This 50 cm thermometer measures temperatures up to 104° - perfect for checking the temperature in the core of your compost, and soil temperatures too. Made of corrosion-resistant stainless steel.

Climbing Shell Plant

Fast-growing, twining 6-7 m long vine attracts butterflies with fragrant flowers from midsummer into fall. The 5 cm blooms have a unique shell-like shape. Can even be grown in containers.
Vigna caracalla

Egret Flower

Enchanting and distinctive, these heavily-fringed, pearly-white flowers resemble snowy egrets in flight. From mid to late summer, this petite 30-40 cm tall, water-loving plant will intrigue you with delicate blooms that last 3-4 weeks. A creative orchidlike addition to your walkway or patio container. Top-size bulbs. Habenaria radiata

Apricot Princess Rose

Butterflies are drawn to these sweet-smelling 5 cm double blooms that deepen from a vivid apricot to coral as they mature. Glossy, dark green foliage on sturdy stems sets the stage for these robust roses. Enjoy blooms for an extended period from midsummer to frost. Creates a lovely border, ground cover, specimen or container planting. Perfect for both fresh and dried arrangements. Grows just 50-60 cm tall. Space plants 45-60 cm apart. Rosa x 'Apricot Princess'

Harlequin Hydrangea

This 90-150 cm mounding shrub is a stunning bicolour beauty! Dark glossy green leaves surround massive, 15 cm flower heads of deep pink with white edges. Striking as a featured landscape specimen; plant several for a bold informal hedge. Grows under all light conditions—full sun to full shade. Exquisite as a cut flower, too. Shipped in 10 cm pots. Zones 5-9. Hydrangea macrophylla 'Harlequin'

Primrose Lilac

The rare, soft yellow Primrose Lilac is much sought after, yet seldom found. Beautiful springtime blooms in a delicate shade of soft yellow make this lilac truly unique.Improved plants are carefree and vigorous, requiring very little maintenance. Elegant, heart-shaped leaves make the perfect backdrop for the intensely fragrant blossoms. Reaches a height of 2.5-3 m in full sun to partial shade. Shipped in 10 cm pots. Deer tend to avoid. Zones 2-7. Syringa vulgaris 'Primrose'

Jewellery Buying Decisions

Jewellery Buying Decisions

There are many options which face the lives of consumers every day. Luckily buying jewellery is not one of them. Consumers are faced with many different options every time they do come to purchase jewellery and jewellery retailers therefore need to make every effort to make it as easy as possible to help consumers make a choice.

In order to make that choice easier, a jewellery retailer's aim is to make sure their products are extremely reliable and trustworthy, and make sure that nothing ever goes wrong with the jewellery item bought. For a company to say this is very easy and to do this may not cause too many issues either. However, to build up a reputable name and image can take a long time and many companies have to work very hard to do just this. Once a company has built up their reputation to a level that ensures customers are confident to buy from the store, they have the chance to impress that customer with various different products. It is then up to the customer to decide whether or not they like that product.

The final decision of what to buy lies with the consumer. However, there are other factors which will help a customer make a decision too. For instance, a customer will need to know that the jewellery retailer they are buying from has a lot of information about the jewellery products they are selling. The more information a retailer has the more confidence the consumer has during their buying decision and hence the more likely they are to actually purchase the jewellery product. Information can come from a number of sources; staff inside the shop should all be equipped with knowledge and information about the products, brochures catalogues and other point-of-sale materials should also be found easily in the shop to further this information. Other guides such as a diamond jewellery buyer's guide or other buyer's guides can also be very useful.

Of course information has to be provided and that information must come from a reliable and trustworthy source. There is however, more to a customers buying decision than just that. The customers must be able to choose from a vast range of jewellery items. On the one hand, if a customer is presented with too much choice it can make choosing what they want a longer process. However, providing the customer with choice can only be a good thing in the long run. This is because the customer will feel comfortable to know that the company they are buying from has many different jewellery ranges. It will also mean that once they have bought once, they are likely to come back and buy another piece of jewellery.

Punta Sayulita

Mexico's Private Hideaway on the Riviera NayaritA short paddle from the charming village of Sayulita, upon a virgin peninsula of dramatic rock, jungle and pristine shoreline, an exceptional oceanfront sanctuary—Punta Sayulita—is rising. About a half-hour north of Puerto Vallarta, this private enclave of just 62 homes is a refreshing departure from Mexico's spate of sprawling beachside resorts. Quaint, unpretentious and intimate—like Sayulita itself—Punta Sayulita promises to remain as such. And though some will come here for Punta Sayulita's myriad of luxuries—exotic homes, a Beach & Surf Club, walking paths, fitness and spa facilities, concierge services and a Director of Ocean Activities, to name a few—many more will come for the rare chance to become a treasured member of an authentic seaside village steeped in the charms of old Mexico.

Click here to visit their site:

Hamanasi Resort

Nestled between the lush Maya Mountains and the turquoise Caribbean Sea, Hamanasi is a special place from which you can explore the best of Belize on and offshore. A secluded, intimate boutique resort located on the beach south of Hopkins, Hamanasi sits on hundreds of feet of Caribbean Sea beachfront surrounded by tropical flora on the finest stretch of beach in Belize. With a short flight from Atlanta, Charlotte, Dallas, Houston, Miami, New York or San Salvador you may let the warm tropical breezes melt away your hectic life for the laid back pace of Belize!

Your daily adventures will begin and end in the casual elegance of Hamanasi Dive & Adventure Resort. You'll be able to kick back and soak in the ocean air in our Great House or by the pool. If you fancy you may take a swim in the warm Caribbean waters or enjoy a tropical cocktail at the bar. Our friendly staff will greet you with warm smiles and attentive service. Of course, Hamanasi's Adventure Center, housing our dive & snorkel center will service you on premises.

Hamanasi features:

Spacious, comfortable rooms with a casually elegant décor, hardwood furnishings and Central American folk art. 9 intimate, private treehouses raised on stilts are set in our coast forest surrounded by orchids and birds. 2 honeymoon suites and 12 beachfront and beachfront deluxe rooms boast breathtaking ocean views.

King or double queen beds with comfortable mattresses, plush linens, air conditioning, ceiling fans, private porches and colorful Mexican tiled bathrooms in all rooms.

The Great House, reminiscent of a plantation home, which is the heart of all activity. Here you will find the lobby, reception, gift shop, restaurant, bar and wrap-around veranda.

Dining indoors or on the veranda overlooking the Caribbean Sea. Delicious menu rich in fresh seafood, healthy, light dishes and international cuisine with a Caribbean twist. Fresh bread and pastries baked daily. Scrumptious desserts served. Try our fruit salsa or ceviche!

Cozy bar with comfortable furnishings ideal for relaxing. Fine wines, champagne, spirits and fresh tropical drinks available.
Curved, freshwater infinity pool with brick decking. Beach chairs, hammocks and beach towels provided.

Lush gardens bursting with tropical flowers, shrubs, orchids and fruit trees. Enjoy hummingbirds and butterflies playfully darting amongst the explosion of colors.
Swaying palms and soft Caribbean breezes will enliven your Belize honeymoon. Ask for a bottle of fine champagne to accompany your beachside stargazing!
Full service Belize scuba diving and snorkeling center with full line of rental equipment and boats.

Professionally trained guides eager to unlock Belize’s many mysteries and wonders for you!

Check their site here

9 Ways to be Slim

1. Cut the Carbs


You don’t need to totally omit anything with carbohydrate from your diet. You still need it for energy to do your daily activities. Look for food with less cars, like potato instead of rice, or Pine nut pasta instead of wheat pasta.



2. Snack the Soup

Eat soup that consists of a lot of veggies as a snack. A research by Pennsylvania State University proved that vegetable soups are more slimming than low-fat-snacks.



3. Friendly Fat

According to nutritionist Fiona Kirk, consuming unsaturated fat 20 minutes before eating your actual meal would make your brain think that you’re full and therefore cut your craving to eat more.



4. Spray the Oil

Use cooking oil spray to reduce the oil content in your meals. Olive oil cooking spray would be a great choice!



5. 24 hours Detox

Want a natural detox? Try to following Lemon Juice Diet’s author Theresa Cheung’s tips: Drink four glasses of lemonade each day. Make it yourself by mixing 2 teaspoons of fresh squeezed lemon juice, a little cayenne pepper, 300 ml drink water, and 2 teaspoons of apply syrup. Drink it 30 minutes before breakfast, 10 minutes before having ‘morning snack’, 10 minutes before ‘afternoon snack’, and 10 minutes before having dinner.



6. Go Green

Consume more green vegies and fruits. Besides rich of vitamins and enzymes, green veggies contents only 54 calories per portion.



7. Drink Prebiotic

Good bacteria are needed to maintain body’s immunity and digestive system. It is advised to drink prebiotic drinks and supplements that are available in your local supermarkets. It’s healthy and it doesn’t require any doctor’s prescr i ption.



8. Avoid artificial sweetener

We often seek for diet drinks and snacks with the ‘less sugar’ labels without realizing that they are actually using artificial sugar to keep the good taste. Artificial sweetener makes your body crave for the real sugar. It is better to consume real sugar with less portion.



9. Papaya

This fruit is known for its high digestive enzymes above all the other fruits. The enzyme contained by papaya helps to relieve bloated stomach and to secrete fat from your body.

Online Dating

Online Dating can be fun...Isn't it???? Many faces, races, cultures, likes, dislikes
etc.

At first, you will both invite each other to chat with cam and if things work out you meet then arrange marriage and that's it. A happy never ending love....There are many sites here that you could choose from .If you want to be so sure about your prospect date, take these reminders: (1) Don't give any amount of money for whatever reason, no matter it's for visa, passport or ticket...(2) Don't motivate him/her to talk about illicit matters..(3) Don't show any illicit image on cam..................Follow these very important advice and you will be getting the right partner that you are looking for.............So, what are you looking for?......Start searching now!!!!!

Acne-Prone Skin

Introduction
Acne is a very common skin disorder that happens to almost every one of us at some point of time. This apparently trivial thing may lead to serious troubles later if left unattended. Recurring acne may suggest a major disorder in bodily mechanisms. Timely care through easy treatment help restricting the acne. This article presents analysis of the acne formation process and suggests some simple home remedies.

Physiology of Skin
Skin is a physical barrier to the external environment. It is more than a layer separating us from the outside world. Skin is an important protective organ.

The skin consists of mainly two structural layers – Epidermis (outer layer) and Dermis (inner layer). The sebaceous gland situated under Dermis layer is primarily responsible for producing sebum (oil). Sebum acts as lubricant for hair and skin and also serves to repel external substances such as water molecules, damaging chemicals and microorganisms.

What is acne?
Acne is an inflammatory disorder of the skin resulting from an overactive sebaceous gland. It is marked by the eruption of pimples or pustules especially on the face.


Process of acne formation
Acne formation begins with excessive secretion of sebum that blocks the hair follicle, the passage that leads from the sebaceous gland to the surface of the skin. Normally sebum helps in removing the dead cells from the lining of the hair follicle and in carrying them to the outer skin surface.

However, if the amount of sebum secreted from sebaceous gland increases, it blocks the hair follicle thus making it difficult for dead cells to reach the skin surface. As a result, the dead cells get trapped. These dead cells combine with sebum and bacteria to form a plug in the follicle. When infection remains under the skin surface, it develops into white head. When the infection partly reaches the surface and changes color it develops into black head.

Cause of Acne
Many factors are responsible for producing acne. These can be categorized as follows:

1. External Factors: These mainly include pollution, direct exposure to sun over longer duration etc.

2. Internal Factors: include heredity, hormonal imbalances, stress, constipation etc.

Remedies
Prevention is better than cure. Acne, particularly the one, caused by internal factors as above can be easily prevented. The following habits can be helpful:

1. Drink 8~10 glasses of water daily

2. Eat plenty of fruits and leafy vegetables

3. Wash your face 2~3 times a day, but not more than that. Too much washing will aggravate the situation as excessive washing causes the body to produce more oil which makes the acne worse

4. To keep the acne under control, one needs to control both external as well as internal factors. External remedies, as mentioned below, along with internal nutritious diet lead to healthy skin.

The following external remedies are easy to prepare:

1. Prepare paste by mixing 3 tablespoons of honey and 1 teaspoon of cinnamon powder. Apply this paste on the affected area.

Cinnamon has got antibacterial properties. The oil in cinnamon is a type of phenol, which is anti-fungal and anti-bacterial.
2. Apply mixture of 1 teaspoon of lemon juice and one teaspoon of cinnamon powder.

Lemon is rich in fruit acids. The fresh lemon juice has capacity to remove dead skin cells gently.

3. Apply Nutmeg (Indian: Jaiphal) powder with un-boiled milk on the affected area.

Nutmeg has anti-oxidant and antiseptic properties.

4. Rub fresh garlic on and around affected area.

Garlic has antibiotic properties that help destroying the bacteria thus containing the growth of acne.

5. Make a paste of neem leaves with turmeric powder. Apply this paste on the affected area.

Neem has got antibacterial properties making it effective in controlling epidermal dysfunctions such as acne.

6. Apply fresh tomato pulp on the face.

Tomato is known to have anti-oxidants and contains vitamins A & C. Vitamin C in tomatoes can rejuvenate the dull skin and vitamin A is involved in formation of healthy skin.

7. Apply juice of raw papaya on affected area.

Papaya is rich in natural enzymes. It acts as natural cleansing agent.

8. Apply a paste of orange peel powder with water on affected area. Wash it off after 30 minutes with lukewarm water.

The citric acid in orange soothes and softens skin removing pore-clogging impurities.

9. Apply cucumber juice on the face.

Cucumber has hydrating and astringent properties.

10. Prepare a mixture of grated apple and lemon juice. Apply this mixture on your face.

Apple soaks up the extra oil and helps to close pores.

Philippines: Destination for Snorkeling

With 7,107 island and legions of coral reefs, the Philippines is a paradise for snorkeling enthusiasts. Sample this # 34,000 sq km of coral reefs, some of which have grown since the Ice Age, over 100 reef slopes, over 800 classes of corals, over a thousand species of marine life, over 400 fish species and over 500 fish families – isn’t this the most populous and diverse aquatic ecosystem you have ever heard of?

Go Snorkeling in Philippines. Snorkeling is a popular recreational activity, particularly at tropical resort destinations. The primary attraction of snorkeling is the opportunity to observe underwater life in a natural setting. And, no other place can be as fascinating as Philippines for snorkeling.

Baler alone holds at least five good snorkeling spots most of which are located in the southern portion. These reef areas are in the neighborhood of the Aniao Islets, Cemento Beach, Digisit Beach, Dimadimalangat Islet and the Lukso-Lukso Islets. One of the more challenging areas to snorkel is in Dicasalarin Bay. You will find various multi-colored corals and underwater life along the shore reef wall. The wall, very interestingly, is concave in shape due to the constant hitting of the waves. The official season for snorkeling is from March until June when the waves are the smallest.

The most popular snorkeling spots in Philippines are:

Moalboal in Cebu
Bacuit Bay and El Nido Northern Palawan
Puerto Galera in Mindoro
Miniloc Island in Northern Palawan
Taytay Bay in Northern Palawan

Why We Live as Long as We Do...

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty."

And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten."

So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."


The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

So this is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing;

for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family;

for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren;

and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

Five Tips to Beat Procrastination

Why do it today if you can do it tomorrow? Thinking like that is the beginning of the end when it comes to getting anything done — work or home chores. The key to being more productive at work is to stop procrastinating before it gets a foothold in your thinking process.

Why do you procrastinate? There are several reasons and some might surprise you. Fear of failure is one reason. No one wants to be make mistakes but they are a part of life and they do happen to everyone.

Fear of success is also a reason why you might procrastinate. Here is the rationale: If you succeed you will be expected to do so all the time. The pressure alone can stop your work.

Stress causes procrastination, too. It is easier to deal with a problem by hiding and pretending it will go away than meeting it head on. The problem is that the day you are ready to deal with it never comes.

Use the following tips to stop procrastination from hindering your work.

1. Make a list. Use dashes instead of numbers so the items on the list aren’t ranked in any particular order. Add deadlines so that you can prioritize the list. As you finish a task on the list, cross it off with a colorful pen. Every time you look at the list you will get a sense of accomplishment.

2. Set aside time for other tasks. All work and no play, as they say. Sometimes when you work, you’ll notice your mind thinking about taking a break and doing something else. We’ve all done it. Avoid those breaks in productivity by scheduling time to get away and take a break. Knowing that you will get a break makes you want to stay focused on your work until that time.

3. Don’t overload your schedule. If you have too much to do in a small span of time, procrastination will surely creep in. No one wants to slack off at work, but biting off only as much as you can chew is not the same thing. You are more productive when you can manage your tasks instead of drowning in them and missing all of your deadlines.

4. Find coping mechanisms. Stress can lead to procrastination. Deal with the stress before it affects your work. Learn breathing techniques; take an exercise class; chant a mantra. Whatever will relax you can also keep you working.

5. Stay organized. A desk piled with papers, folders, and sticky notes is not what you want to see every morning you walk into the office. Keep your desk neat and everything where you can find it when you need it. Organization stops you from abandoning the task at hand because of a misplaced file.

Procrastination is hard to beat because it comes from within us. Use the above tips to regain your level of productivity in the workplace.

Things you would like to say at a yard sale.

Here are a few thing to say when you get those question from the informed buyer. You can copy them for your next sale. They really give you a sale to remember. It also helps to keep the consumer informed.


* Does it work? And is a dollar the best you can do?

I can check it for you but there will be a 5.00 service charge. Does 5.50 sound reasonable?

* Does it come in a different color?

Why yes, I was at the mall the other day and saw it in red.

* This has a chip.

Let me see. You are right. How observant.

* You have these sales all the time?

No, I actually work for a living. This is just my hobby.

* If I buy both of these 10.00 items will you take 5.00?

Excuse me a moment while I laugh out loud. That is better. What was your question again?

* They are the wrong color.

I am sorry but I have a problem with prejudice people. Try to keep an open mind.

* You only have two of those.

Wow, you are well educated and can do math. I never was very good at math.

* It smells a little musty.

That is ok, I am sure if you don't stand too close to others they will not notice. I barely smelled you at all.


* How much is it worth?

More than you are willing to pay. I like you so I am giving you a real deal.

* Are you having a yard sale?

No, I am just airing out the house.

* Do you have anything in my size?

Let me grab the tape measure. Would you like it tailored also?

* These shoes are a little tight.

Are you sure it's the shoes?

* Do you live here?

Only if you want to call this living.

* Is that your cat?

No, it's a stray I intend to have for this evenings dinner. It has been a while since we could afford meat.

* Do you have anything I want?


Yes, but your wife would not approve. As for my husband, he is the kinky type. Do you swing both ways?

* Can I go inside and look around?

Not unless you have a gun pointed at me.

* I have been waiting for 5 minutes.

Oh I am sorry. I have been waiting for 60 years. Let me know if I can help.

* Will this fit me?

Are you a 3 or 6? No, I was not referring to your age.

* Do you have any scrap gold.

I don't have one scrap of gold. I would sell it but like the jewelry it is in hock right now. Looks like we will lose it too. Just last week we had to sell the neighbors kid.

* How old is this.

Lets see it was bought in 1923, that would make it older than me.

* You should paint that.

What color would you like? A blush pink is really in this year.

* Will it polish and look new?

Yes, just put a little hot sauce on it and it will shine brand new.

* Will the stain come out?

I am not sure but if you come back Monday I will have it back from the laundry.

* Do you have any more jewelry?

Yes, but it is in hock. That is why I am having this sale, we have hocked everything of value and need to pay the rent. The car is acting up and I hope we can have oatmeal next week.

* Why is this 10.00?

Is there a real reason for your being here?


* Will you clean this for me if I buy it?

Gladly. That will be 1.00 for the item and 10.00 for the cleaning. Pay the cashier and it will be ready Monday around 5.

* What does this part do?

Not much. Usually just lays around and collects dust.

* Will you hold my baby?

I am sorry I am not allowed around children. As a matter of fact you are breaking my parole by being here.

* "I can do nothing with my child", as the sweet darling drags down and stomps on every good piece on table while the loving parent watches.

Did you see the lady who just left? There was a reason for her leaving in such a hurry. I am sorry but times have been hard and I have been out of my medication for a few days now.

* Will this fit my bed?

I don't know but if you set up an appointment I will be right over and measure it for you. Do you have a cute husband? What time will he be home?

* This has a scratch.

Would you please not handle the items if you are going to damage them. You scratch it you buy it.

* This has a dent.

Yes, I hate to get rid of it. It really holds some precious memories. It was the piece with which I protected myself, when my husband came home drunk. God rest his soul.

* This is not priced is it free?

Why yes. I etched your name on the bottom just before you arrived. I will put it in my will for you.

* But you said it was 2.00 dollars.

I am sorry but I believe you have me confused with the sale down the street. Vitamin B-12 is real good help with memory loss.

* Will you hold this till I get paid?

Not unless it is in 2 minutes. I suffer from muscle loss and go into severe spasms.

Should be Posted in Every School

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your
self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault , so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.