Libido

The word ‘libido’ is often used inappropriately to refer just to sexual arousal but sexual libido is a complex aspect of human sexual function. Sexual libido concerns our thoughts about sex, sexual fantasies, interest, and actually seeking sexual activity, everything that contributes to sexual desire or the drive to participate in sexual activity.

Consequently if a man complains that he is having problems with his libido it is important to clarify exactly what he means by this. The following review of the panel discussion will help separate out the many factors affecting today’s male libido and if you are one of the men affected by low sexual drive, this may actually provide possible areas of investigation:

1. So may men harbour fear and shame based attitudes towards sex

We are probably the only human culture where sexual passage, perhaps the single most important adult initiation, is ignored, avoided, or distorted. Many of us were left to piece together from peers and the mass media an understanding and acceptance of the power of our own sexuality. Because we have few meaningful, ceremonial means of discovering who we are as sexual beings we find ourselves wondering why the core hunger inside us - the emptiness we have been told we can fill with more techniques, more sex and other “external” pursuits - remains unsatisfied.

2. More and more men are terrified of women

They are afraid they will fail to prove their manhood or lose their symbolic status as “a man” if they are found as sexually undesirable or inadequate. Their fears are usually personal and often based on bad experiences that have nothing to do with the next woman.

3. The pressure to look good is no longer just limited to women alone

Poor body image is becoming a male problem too, with around half of all men falling prey to anxiety and embarrassment when attention is called to male physiques. Men are facing the same increased pressure as women to meet the standard of the muscular defined body that is promoted in film and T.V and magazines. Now if a man wants to attract a women with a great body, then he must have to have one too.

4. More and more men would rather view porn than have actual sexual intimacy with a real alive and breathing woman

Small wonder, if men are terrified of an actual presence of a naked, willing woman, it seems only logical that they would rather stay home and jerk off to porn. But the real question is: is porn responsible for deadening male libido in relation to real women? There are a lot of arguments on both sides of the table and the jury is not out yet out on this one.

5. As a man grows older or undergoes various kinds of stress he does not think of sex as often and therefore it is much more difficult to turn him on.

Though psychological aspect greatly influences male sex drive, male sexual desire, needs and abilities much depend on age and stress factors. It has been found out that testosterone level in men decreases by 1-2% per year. With an aging populating we have very limited testosterone in circulation. It is however important to not that testosterone levels vary between men of the same age depending on many features, such as mode of living including stress levels, general sexual attitudes, state of health, climate, genetic peculiarities etc.

6. Distorted emphasis on the “sacredness” of sex ushered in by New Age teachings is creating more “enlightened” hypocrites

The problem lies in the fact that these “new teachings’ so efficiently disguise people’s true thoughts, feelings and desires under a conventional form and language that ends up suppressing people’s ability to really express their sexual thoughts, feelings and desires exactly the way they are without censoring them to fit a certain philosophy or technique or whatever.

7. Too many men are zonked out on some kind of substance or taking some kind of prescription

It is estimated that one in every two males in North America consumes some sort of substance or drug that decreases the body’s ability to produce testosterone (male hormone). This includes everything from alcohol to Marijuana, from cocaine to heavy cigarette smoking, from antidepressants to tranquilizers.

8. Sexual encounters and intimate moments are ever meaningless

The usual approach is a hurried, forced event, in which woman’s orgasm is relatively rare and man’s ejaculation is prematurely speeded up by jerking back and forth movements - a mere three to seven minutes of sexual activity and “Oh man! That was really great!” The permanent obsession to reach ejaculatory orgasm completely screws up the ability to respond spontaneously to the moment. The result is bad sexual experiences, and bad sexual experiences makes men insecure with women.

9. Too many unstable attachments and bad relationships

Few men report having had (or are in) a relationship in which both partners know what they want and what they like, and are not ashamed of trying new positions and other sex experiments in bed, because they know each other for quite a long time. Shallow attachments and frequent change of guards just makes men more insecure and unsure about their sexual abilities.

Although a thorough appreciation of your individual life circumstances will benefit the understanding of what is affecting your male libido, it is important that the interactive effect of physical, psychosocial and spiritual factors all be taken into consideration

And remember: the sooner you do it the sooner you will be able to enjoy sex life and life in general again.